Unprocessed Trauma in Midlife: How Nervous System Regulation Supports Healing
Many adults reach a point in life where old wounds, stress, and unprocessed trauma begin to surface in unexpected ways, often requiring trauma therapy and nervous system regulation to heal. The coping strategies that once worked—staying busy, pushing through, or ignoring discomfort—may no longer be enough. This shift can feel unsettling, but it’s also an opportunity to heal. Understanding trauma and how it manifests in the body is a crucial first step toward relief and resilience.
Understanding Trauma and Its Lasting Effects on the Nervous System
Trauma takes many forms, affecting people in different ways:
Acute trauma comes from a single overwhelming event—something sudden, shocking, or life-threatening, happening too fast and too intensely for the brain and body to process.
Complex trauma develops over time from repeated distress. This may stem from ongoing emotional or physical harm, neglect, domestic violence, or prolonged exposure to instability and stress.
Developmental trauma happens in childhood when a caregiver is unable to consistently meet a child’s emotional or physical needs. Growing up in poverty, facing discrimination, or lacking stable support systems can intensify developmental trauma.
From a somatic therapy perspective, trauma isn’t just about the event—it’s about what lingers in the body afterward. Gabor Maté states, “Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” Trauma can leave the nervous system stuck in survival states—fight, flight, freeze, or collapse—long after the event has passed, shaping how people respond to stress and relationships in the present.
Peter Levine highlights, “Trauma occurs in the absence of an empathic witness,” showing that the presence of support can make a significant difference in how trauma is processed.
Why I’m Talking About This
I see this all the time with my clients—people who have spent years pushing through life, doing what they needed to survive, only to reach a point where their body is demanding attention. It might be chronic stress, anxiety, or physical pain. It might be a sense of disconnection, feeling stuck, or emotions becoming overwhelming in ways that never seemed to be a problem before. Sometimes this happens when life slows down, creating space for emotions to emerge. Other times, it can feel like life is speeding up, with more responsibilities piling on, leaving little room to process emotions—until they demand attention.
Who I Am
I’m Amy, a somatic therapist navigating midlife alongside fellow Gen Xers. I understand the complexities of this stage of life—the challenges, changes, and the ways it reshapes people. I’ve had my share of trauma, and fortunately, I began my own healing journey through somatic work over a decade ago. That work has made a profound difference in my life, but healing isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing process.
My work focuses on helping people develop a greater sense of safety and nervous system regulation so they can move through life with more ease, while also helping them recognize and shift stress response patterns that are often rooted in trauma.
The Emergence of Trauma in Midlife: Why Past Experiences Resurface Now
Midlife is often a time when unresolved trauma resurfaces, sometimes unexpectedly, leading many to seek nervous system regulation and trauma therapy to find relief. The demands of life can shift—some people experience a slowing down, creating space for emotions to emerge, while others find responsibilities increasing, adding stress and pressure. Either way, this phase of life often brings transitions that can trigger old survival responses and amplify past wounds.
Common Triggers That Cause Trauma to Resurface in Midlife
Increased Responsibilities and Life Transitions – Career shifts, evolving relationships, aging parents, health concerns, or major life changes can overwhelm the nervous system, making it harder to suppress past experiences.
Changes in Nervous System Regulation – The cumulative effects of chronic stress, combined with hormonal or physiological changes, can make it more difficult to override emotional or physical discomfort.
Less Distraction, More Reflection – For some, a decrease in external distractions can allow unresolved emotions to surface in ways that weren’t possible when life was busier. This can bring up memories, emotions, or reactions that seem out of proportion to the present moment.
Accumulated Stress and Fatigue – Years of pushing through and coping can take a toll, making it harder to continue using the same strategies that once worked.
Signs of Unprocessed Trauma in Midlife and How It Affects Daily Life
Unprocessed trauma doesn’t always feel like obvious emotional pain—it often manifests in subtle but persistent ways:
Emotional Reactivity – Overreacting to stressors, feeling anger, frustration, or sadness more intensely than expected.
Shutting Down Under Stress – Struggling to respond in challenging situations, feeling paralyzed, or emotionally disconnected.
Chronic Pain and Physical Symptoms – Tension, migraines, digestive issues, or other unexplained health concerns.
Relationship Struggles – Difficulty with intimacy, fear of abandonment, or recurring conflicts with loved ones.
Overwhelm and Exhaustion – Feeling like even small tasks are too much, difficulty making decisions, or struggling with motivation.
Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward healing. Understanding how nervous system dysregulation contributes to these reactions can help guide the next steps toward recovery. The good news is that these responses are not permanent. With awareness, intentional self-regulation, and support, it is possible to shift these patterns and create more stability and ease. Taking small, intentional steps to regulate the nervous system can provide relief and help build resilience.
Effective Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System and Manage Trauma Responses
While deep healing often requires support, there are steps people can take on their own to help regulate their nervous system and emotions:
Movement and Rhythm – Walking, stretching, or engaging in rhythmic movement can be regulating. The lower brain structures respond well to repetition, which can bring a sense of stability.
Connecting with Nature – Getting outside, breathing fresh air, and taking in natural surroundings can help settle the nervous system.
Journaling – Writing thoughts and emotions can provide clarity and make overwhelming feelings more manageable.
Connection and Co-Regulation – Spending time with people who feel safe—laughing, sharing, or simply being with loved ones—can be deeply regulating.
Noticing Sensory Input – Focusing on the feeling of the ground beneath you, the texture of a chair, or the sights and smells around you can bring you back to the present moment.
These small but intentional practices can help people feel more stable and support nervous system regulation. However, when trauma is deeply rooted, more structured support is often needed.
Navigating the Complexity of Midlife and Trauma Healing
Midlife often brings a deeper understanding of nuance—experiences that once seemed clear-cut now hold layers of complexity. While this shift can foster growth, it can also be disorienting. People can find themselves questioning past choices, reassessing personal values, or experiencing emotions in new ways that can feel overwhelming.
Therapy provides a space to navigate these complexities with support, helping to untangle emotions, gain clarity, and integrate past experiences. In my approach, I allow plenty of space for this exploration while incorporating somatic therapy techniques that help clients tune into their bodies. Learning to listen to bodily cues can help bring clarity, stability, and a deeper sense of self-trust. Read more about midlife complexity and therapy.
How Somatic Therapy Supports Healing from Trauma in Midlife
The impact of unresolved trauma in midlife doesn’t just stay in the past—it manifests in the present through nervous system dysregulation, emotional reactivity, and physical symptoms. Shutting down under stress, chronic pain, and second-guessing are signs of a nervous system still holding onto old survival patterns, but these patterns can shift with the right support.
With time and the right support, overwhelm, reactivity, and shutdown responses can ease. Many people find that they start feeling more like themselves—more steady, grounded, and able to engage in life again without fear of being thrown off course. Healing isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about creating more capacity in the present.
In my work, I use Somatic Experiencing (SE) and the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) as two powerful ways to help people regulate their responses to trauma:
Somatic Experiencing (SE) helps people track physical sensations, allowing the body to complete stuck survival responses. Rather than reliving trauma, SE helps the nervous system release stored stress and move toward regulation.
Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) uses specially filtered music to support nervous system regulation. It can help people feel safer, more connected, and better able to engage with themselves and others.
Somatic therapy provides gentle, effective ways to support nervous system regulation and healing trauma in midlife. With the right support, people can develop more resilience, break free from old patterns, and move through life with greater ease.
You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck: How to Move Forward After Trauma
If unresolved stress and trauma are surfacing in new ways, it’s not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that the body is ready for healing. The patterns that once helped people cope don’t have to keep running their lives. While trauma can feel overwhelming, the nervous system has the ability to shift, making space for relief and resilience.
Somatic therapy for trauma in midlife offers a way to work through these patterns in a supportive, body-based way, promoting nervous system regulation and deeper healing. If you’re in Florida or Illinois and navigating the resurfacing of past trauma in midlife, I can help. Together, we can create a space for reconnection, ease, and forward movement. If this resonates, visit www.amyhagerstrom.com to learn more about my approach to therapy.