Lemonading: How Nervous System Regulation Creates Space for Playfulness and Resilience
I get pretty excited when I see examples in the media that speak about the nervous system, even without directly mentioning it. That just happened when I came across an article about “lemonading”—finding playfulness and creativity in life’s challenges.
A recent study found that people who take a playful approach to stress and uncertainty—seeking fun, embracing spontaneity, and shifting their perspective—tend to be more resilient, optimistic, and emotionally flexible.
That makes so much sense. When the nervous system is regulated, there’s more room for ease, play, and adaptability. But when someone is stuck in survival mode—dealing with trauma, chronic pain, or anxiety—playfulness often feels completely out of reach.
That’s where somatic therapy and nervous system work come in.
Who I Am and Why I’m talking about This
I’m Amy Hagerstrom, a somatic psychotherapist and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I work with people whose nervous systems feel stuck in survival mode—whether that shows up as trauma, anxiety, chronic pain, or the stress of navigating midlife changes.
I also work with children and teens using Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) to support their nervous systems when things feel overwhelming, overstimulating, or just too much.
A lot of my work is about helping people feel more at home in their own bodies—so they aren’t constantly bracing for impact, feeling emotionally reactive, or overwhelmed. When someone has more flexibility in their system, they have more options in how they respond to life’s challenges.
And that’s what makes space for playfulness.
How Playfulness Helps Regulate Your Nervous System and Support Mental Health
When life feels overwhelming, playfulness is usually the first thing to go.
When someone is dealing with chronic pain, anxiety, or past trauma, their nervous system is often stuck in a protective state. This can look like:
Fight or Flight: Everything feels urgent. You feel restless, wired, anxious, or irritable. Your system is constantly on the go, scanning for threats.
Freeze: The gas and brake are both on at the same time. You feel keyed up—tense, jittery—but also unable to act. Your system wants to move, but something is stopping it.
Collapse: Exhaustion. Fog. That heavy, shut-down feeling that makes everything seem like too much.
The more time someone spends in these states, the harder it is to feel playful, light, or engaged with life.
Playfulness is a sign that the nervous system recognizes safety. When there’s no real threat, a well-regulated nervous system can register that safety and shift back—instead of staying stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or collapse.
That doesn’t mean stress won’t happen. But when the nervous system has more flexibility, it can adjust and recover rather than staying locked in a protective state.
Simple Ways to Help Your Nervous System Make Space for Play
There are many ways to help the nervous system feel safe enough to naturally bring about a sense of play or openness to new perspectives when things aren’t ideal.
Grounding
Take some time to feel the contact of the surface you’re on—whether it’s a chair, the floor, or something else. Feel the firmness or softness of that surface. Move around a bit and notice muscle activation or shifts in pressure. This can signal to the brain that in this moment, even if the situation isn’t ideal, you are safe (assuming you actually are).
Orienting to Your Space
Look around. Notice your surroundings—the physical structures, the people, the animals, the nature. Take in details.
Get curious about textures, colors, objects, movement.
If you see something that you don’t like, keep looking until you find something that sparks curiosity, interest, or joy—or at least something neutral.
This can help remind your nervous system that you’re safe.
Move Your Body
When your body is in fight, flight, or freeze, there’s adrenaline running through your system. Movement can help, but the right kind depends on your state.
Fight or flight: Your body has energy to burn. Try stretching, bouncing, shaking out your arms and legs, walking, dancing, or pushing against a solid surface to help your system settle.
Freeze: There’s adrenaline, but it’s stuck—your body is activated yet unable to act. Gentle muscle activation can help. Try pressing your feet into the floor, squeezing and releasing your fists, or lightly pressing your palms together. Slowly looking side to side can also help unfreeze your system.
Collapse: The body has low energy here, so movement needs to be even smaller and easier. Try slowly rolling your shoulders, shifting your weight side to side, or rocking from the balls of your feet to your heels. Wiggling your fingers and toes or doing gentle twists can help bring back connection without forcing activation.
Even the smallest movements can help your brain and body register safety—especially in a stressful moment.
Get Outside
Feel the fresh air.
If the sun is out, step into the sun.
Ground and orient—notice where you are. Move your body. Look in all directions.
Find something enjoyable to look at.
Touch a tree, a flower, snow, or grass. Notice the details.
There are so many options, and you may already be thinking of some. Maybe it’s pulling up pictures of your pet, remembering a time on the beach, or eating your favorite food.
What works for one person might not work for another—so it’s worth experimenting.
When Playfulness Feels Impossible: Where Somatic Therapy Comes In
If playfulness feels like something you used to have but life has made it difficult, that’s not your fault.
When the body has been in a state of survival for a long time, it’s hard to just think your way out of it. The nervous system needs support to shift—not more pressure to “just relax” or “look on the bright side.”
That’s where somatic therapy comes in.
Somatic therapy comes from the word “soma,” meaning body—it’s psychotherapy that also incorporates the body. There’s space for talking and processing emotions, but we also tune into your experience as a whole—thoughts, emotions, sensations, urges to move, or moments when energy collapses.
By working this way, we can help your nervous system move out of survival mode and into a state where playfulness, connection, and ease feel possible again.
It also reduces shame by helping you see that your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors—even the ones that feel out of control or frustrating—aren’t a sign that something is wrong with you. Your mind and body are doing their best to protect you, even when those protective responses no longer feel helpful.
The two main somatic approaches I use are Somatic Experiencing (SE) and Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP). Both help the nervous system regain flexibility so you’re not stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or collapse—allowing you to feel safer, more present, and open to life again.
Somatic Experiencing is a gentle, body-based approach that helps release stored stress and trauma from the nervous system. Instead of diving into overwhelming events from the past, we work with what your body is already doing—helping it complete stress responses and shift out of survival mode.
SSP is a music therapy that uses specially filtered music to help reset the nervous system’s ability to recognize safety.
It’s especially helpful for:
People who feel stuck in a state of chronic stress or shutdown.
Children and teens who struggle with anxiety, sensory issues, or social engagement.
Adults who feel on edge all the time and can’t seem to relax, no matter what they do.
When your system has more capacity, playfulness isn’t something you have to force. It just starts becoming available again.
Final Thoughts: Playfulness Isn’t Just for Fun—It’s a Sign of Healing
Life will always throw lemons. That part isn’t optional.
But when your nervous system has more capacity, you don’t just react to stress—you have more options in how you respond.
If this resonates with you, and you’re looking for support in getting unstuck, you can learn more about my work at www.amyhagerstrom.com.
Because playfulness isn’t just “nice to have.” It’s a sign that your system has room to breathe again. 🍋