Finding Balance: Supporting a Reactive Nervous System
Feeling overwhelmed in loud, busy environments or struggling to settle down after a stressful day? You’re not alone. For those with reactive or sensitive nervous systems, even everyday situations can feel overstimulating, leaving you drained or stuck in a cycle of avoidance and frustration.
As a somatic therapist, I often work with people navigating these challenges, helping them tune into their body’s signals and find relief from anxiety, trauma, and chronic pain. Reactive nervous systems can shift and become more resilient, and I want to share some insights that may help.
Let’s explore how your nervous system works, why it might feel so sensitive, and gentle ways to support it.
Meet Amy
I’m Amy Hagerstrom, a somatic psychotherapist working virtually with clients in Florida and Illinois. I specialize in helping people who struggle with anxiety, trauma, and chronic pain reconnect with their bodies to find relief and resilience. My work is informed not just by professional training in approaches like Somatic Experiencing (SE) and Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), but also by my own experience.
During a particularly difficult time in my life, I realized how disconnected I was from my body. Tuning into it—and learning how to support my nervous system—became a vital part of my own healing journey. I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this work can be, and I’m honored to guide others in discovering this for themselves.
What Does Nervous System Reactivity Feel Like?
Do any of these sound familiar?
Overstimulated: Too much noise, chaos, or activity leaves you frazzled.
Big Reactions: Small changes, like a shift in plans, feel overwhelming.
Slow to Rebound: After stress or excitement, you can’t settle down or fall asleep.
Body Symptoms: Stress shows up as headaches, body aches, or digestive issues.
Sensory Sensitivities: Lights, sounds, or textures feel unbearable at times.
These signals aren’t random—they’re your body’s way of trying to protect you. Understanding these signals is the first step toward finding relief.
Understanding Nervous System Reactivity
Your nervous system is designed to protect you, reacting to shifts in your environment—both external (what’s happening around you) and internal (what’s happening inside your body). For some people, these reactions feel more intense, frequent, or lingering.
This reactivity often shows up in conditions like fibromyalgia, chronic illnesses, chronic pain, autism, PTSD, or other challenges where the body and nervous system respond in ways we don’t fully understand. It’s not just emotional sensitivity—it’s a deeply connected mind-body response.
Reactivity can be influenced by a mix of factors:
Biology: Some people are naturally wired to be more attuned to changes, with heightened sensitivity or reactivity to their environment.
Life Experiences: Trauma, chronic stress, or overwhelming situations can make the nervous system more reactive over time.
Early Attachment: Difficult or inconsistent caregiving in childhood can impact how the nervous system responds to safety and stress.
What’s important to know is that a reactive nervous system isn’t “broken.” Whether it’s wired for reactivity or has adapted over time, it’s responding in ways it’s learned to protect you. These responses might feel overwhelming or out of sync with your current needs, but they can shift with support.
Understanding Nervous System States
Your nervous system shifts between states depending on how safe or threatened you feel. While it’s more complex than this, here’s a basic overview:
Calm and Connected: When your system feels safe, you’re grounded, present, and open to connection. This state allows for clear thinking, creativity, and deeper connection.
Fight or Flight: If your system senses danger, it prepares to protect you by confronting or escaping the threat. This can range from annoyance to rage for fight responses, and worry to panic for flight responses.
Freeze or Collapse: When danger feels overwhelming or inescapable, your system might freeze or shut down. This can feel like numbness, disconnection, or exhaustion.
Mixed States: Some situations require a mix of nervous system responses. For example, playing soccer might blend calm connection with fight-or-flight energy. Similarly, working on a challenging project might require just enough activation for energy, balanced by calm focus. These combinations allow us to stay energized while knowing we’re safe and not in danger.
Fight, flight, and freeze responses aren’t bad—they’re your body’s way of instinctively working to protect you. However, when your system gets stuck in survival mode, it can feel frustrating to never know when an environment or social situation will feel like too much. You might avoid certain activities or miss out on experiences, unsure if your system can handle it.
How to Support Your Nervous System
Your nervous system thrives when it feels supported. The practical practices listed below aren’t about avoiding emotions or shutting down what you’re feeling. Instead, they’re tools to help your body feel safe enough to experience emotions fully, tune into what you’re feeling, and respond in ways that feel manageable. When your system recognizes safety, it can free you up to think clearly, create, and connect more easily.
Grounding: Notice where your body connects with a surface—your feet on the floor, your back against a chair. This simple act can remind your brain you’re safe and make it easier to process what you’re feeling.
Orienting: Look around and name what you see, hear, or feel. It can be helpful to focus on what feels pleasant, interesting, or at least neutral. Observing your surroundings can gently guide you back to the present and create space to tune into your body.
Movement: Gentle movement can help release tension and support regulation. Try:
Walking: A simple walk can help your system reset, especially if you’re able to walk in a quiet or natural setting.
Yoga or Dance: Movement practices that combine rhythm, repetition, and flow can support your system, whether it’s a structured class or freeform dancing at home.
Swaying, Shaking, or Bouncing: These spontaneous movements can ease tension and help your system feel more at ease.
Time in Nature: Spending time outdoors—even in your backyard—can support your nervous system. Try grounding by feeling your connection to the earth or orienting by observing the sights and sounds around you.
Helpful Tip: Practice these tools when you’re feeling okay. They create habits that make it easier to tune into your body during moments of overwhelm, helping your system recognize when you’re safe and grounded.
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s easy to feel frustrated with yourself when your system feels reactive or sensitive. But this is when kindness matters most. Give yourself permission to step away from what’s overwhelming, even for a short time.
Try speaking to yourself in a nurturing, soothing tone, as you would to a young child who’s clearly overwhelmed. You might say:
“This feels like a lot right now, and that’s okay.”
“I can take a break. Let’s figure out what we need to feel a little better.”
If this feels too soft for you, that’s okay. For some, an encouraging or firm voice works better—something like, “You’ve got this!” or “Let’s take a minute, then tackle it.” What matters is offering yourself understanding rather than shame.
Therapist-Guided Approaches
When self-guided practices aren’t enough, working with a somatic therapist can make a big difference. Co-regulation with a somatic therapist can help you feel less alone and more at ease as you learn to nurture your mind-body connection. A therapist can off curiosity, empathy, and gentle guidance—tuning into what you might not notice on your own, especially when connecting with yourself feels overwhelming. This support can make all the difference.
Here are two therapeutic approaches I use to support sensitive nervous systems:
Somatic Experiencing (SE): SE helps release stored stress and trauma gently, supporting your body’s ability to process emotions while feeling safe.
Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP): SSP uses sound to help your system feel safe, improving your ability to connect with your body, emotions, and others.
There are many somatic approaches available, but these are the ones I have found to be especially beneficial for the sensitive systems in my practice.
Why This Work Matters
If you’ve been feeling stuck or overwhelmed, your nervous system isn’t working against you—it’s trying to protect you. With curiosity, practice, and the right support, you can help your system recognize safety when it’s present and create space to experience emotions without being overtaken by them. When your system feels supported, you’re better able to think clearly, respond creatively, and connect more deeply.
Want to learn more?
Visit my website to see how somatic therapy might help you.